i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
