: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
