Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
