Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
