I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
