She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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