Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
