Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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