She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
