Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
