the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
