she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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