Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
