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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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