I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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