things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
