Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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