Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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