Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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