All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
