Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
