he was CRYING into my vagina
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
