Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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