yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
