Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
