Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize