Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
