I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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