just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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