I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
