We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
time to smoke my breakfast
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
