i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
