the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
