Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
