i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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