What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize