I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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