i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
