Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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