Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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