It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
