I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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