i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
