I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
