i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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