my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
