So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
