It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Can Purell be used as lube?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
