i think my mom watched the whole time
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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