My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we're so committed to being not committed
wow bdsm is so cute
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
