oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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