Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Where is the hickey?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
