Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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