absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
