the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
